THE GASLIGHTING SYNDROME

Do you find your partner, boss or friend repeatedly saying similar things to you? Does that individual’s denial of events cause you to question your feelings, instincts, memory, or even your sanity? If so, this person may be using a form of psychological abuse and manipulation that we mental health professionals call “GASLIGHTING”.

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Gaslighting is a subtle form of covert psychological abuse used by many individuals to get their needs met. Pathological narcissists in particular use these techniques to instil in their victim’s an extreme sense of anxiety and confusion to the point where eventually they no longer trust their memory, perception or judgment. The intention is to target the victim’s mental equilibrium, self-confidence, and self-esteem so that they are no longer able to function independently. This then gives the narcissist a lot of power and control over their targeted victim and causes the victim to become more reliant on them. The techniques used are similar to the many techniques and “head-games” used in brainwashing, interrogation, and torture that have been used in psychological warfare by intelligence operative, law enforcement and other forces for decades.

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‘The Gaslighting Syndrome’ reveals the manipulative behaviours designed to make a victim feel that they are going crazy. It involves a blend of Ambient Abuse and Coercive Control that is woven through four devastating stages:  The Idealisation Phase, The Devaluing Phase, The Discarding Phase, and The Hoovering Phase. These behaviours establish a strategic course of oppressive behaviours, mind-control and brain-washing by the perpetrator over their victim. Within the pages of this eBook, I describe the warning signs and examples of this highly convoluted dance from start to finish. You will be amazed.

With its non-violent psychological abuse, gaslighting can happen in all kinds of relationships. It can be found in intimate partner relationships, parent & child relationships, family & sibling relationships, work-place relationships, teenage relationships, parental alienation, older couple relationships, in divorced relationships, in friendships, politics, etc.). and can often lead to the victim experiencing physical violence within the relationship.

We take an indepth look at all these behaviours for a comprehensive understanding of this form of psychological warfare that affects thousands of victims around the world daily, especially where domestic violence is involved. It also offers practical strategies for breaking free from a relationship that has become a jail with invisible bars. Everybody needs this information so they can recognise if they (or someone they may love) are entering into such a dangerous relationship.  The sooner one understands what they are dealing with the better.  The longer one is in this type of relationship the more of their identity is lost.

Most people have a good understanding about the physical and interpersonal issues that go with physical and domestic abuse, however, very few understand the non-violent psychological abuse that is now known by the term “Gaslighting”.

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In The Chapters, You Will Learn: -

Chapter1: How Gaslighting is a dangerous and devious form of non-violent psychological abuse used by one person against another. How it establishes a strategic course of oppressive behaviours, mind-control and brain-washing by the perpetrator over the victim. I also raise the question “Is 'Gaslighting' restricted to certain types of relationships?”, and what is the intention behind the behaviours of the perpetrator? I show how Gaslighting is part of the ‘coercive control’ model of domestic violence that take away a person’s fundamental human rights of autonomy.

Chapter 2:  Look at Gaslighting behaviour through a synopsis of the incredible melodrama movie, “Gaslight”, the movie from which this form of abuse has taken its name. I analyse the movie, where the whole scene unfolds in front of our eyes to reveal the narcissist’s diabolical Jekyll and Hyde personality.

Chapter 3:  You will discover how narcissists are puppet masters who manipulate their victims for personal gain in the Idealisation Stage. This is when they turn on their offensive seduction to full blast for moulding the victim into  their “narcissistic supply”.  With precision, they can “pull the strings” of their victims without detection and render them helpless. I look at the perpetrator’s unbelievable Dizzy Cycle of Behaviour (The Idealisation, Devalue, Discard and Hoover Phases), and the effects of that cunning seductive behaviour on the victim. I also look at narcissism and psychopathy from a neuropsychologist viewpoint, and what is happening in the perpetrator’s brain’s Reward System. Also, what is happening in the brain of the victim with the narcissist’s “love-bombing” (grooming).

Chapter 4:  Get a deeper understanding of the perpetrators “Devaluation Phase”, and how they use the ‘Mean-Nice’ Cycle and 'Trauma Bonding' to gain power during the whole cycle of abuse. I show how Intermittent Reinforcement not only creates an excitement of fear in the victim, but also creates a power differential between the pathological narcissist and their victim (giving the narcissist most of the control). This can lead to Stockholm syndrome, the paradoxical phenomenon of the “agony and the ecstasy” relationship that develops between the captor and hostage.

Chapter 5:  Many books have written on the “Discard Phase” and speak of the discard as being the time when the narcissist has walked away from the victim and have found a new victim as a source of supply. However, that is not quite correct, so often the break is not clean. More often, the discard phase happens while the narcissist and their victim are still seen to be in a relationship together. I shall coin this term “The Peri-Discard Phase”, meaning the phase which takes place before the final discard, a phase that can last days, weeks, months, or even years. I give a deeper understanding of the perpetrator’s “Discarding Two-tier Phase”, and when the discard comes, how the perpetrator sees the victim as “worthlessly inferior”.

Chapter 6:  I show how the narcissist’s many “Hoovering Manoeuvres” are all part of the "managing down" of the victim’s expectations, and how the victim comes to expect less and less from the narcissist each time.  Also, give understanding to how gaslighting creates the victim’s ‘cognitive dissonance’, the mental discomfort that results from the narcissist’s gaslighting abuse. To support their seemingly irrational decisions to stay put in the abusive relationship, the victim makes heavy investments that almost cements them into the bad relationship forever. I reveal these six investments.

Chapter 7:  Gaslighting behaviour does not need to be severe for it to have severe consequences on the victim; it can be very subtle. All this psychological warfare has the effect of making the victim doubt their memory or perception. In psychology, this phenomenon is known as the Illusory Truth Effect, and plays with the brain of the victim, making them desperate for the gaslighter’s approval and reassurance that they are not going mad. I name the warning signs of Gaslighting that any victim can look out for, and what happens to the victim’s emotional and psychological states of mind during the perpetrators/narcissist’s gaslighting assault. I also speak about the difference between PTSD and Complex PTSD, and why victims have trouble moving on after narcissistic abuse.

Chapter 8:  Are we making a mistake labelling these victims as “co-dependents”, and could a false diagnosis lead to the wrong psychoeducation for these targeted individuals? Looking at some of the reasons why these victims stay in these narcissistic dysfunctional relationships?

Chapter 9:  What is it that attracts the narcissist to target certain individuals, and what causes these victims to stay in the toxic relationship? Does the perpetrator’s personality type have any bearing on the type of victim they favour, and what do Criminologist say? I take a look at the tragedy of the toxic attraction between the Empath and the Narcissist, and also look at what attracts the empath to these Cluster B Personality Types.

Chapter 10:  Look at how the victim survives the demands of the narcissist. It is important to understand the difference between the narcissistic victim’s defence mechanisms and the co-dependent’s defence mechanisms of survival. Also, why clinicians need to understand the differences between these two styles of behaviour if they are to be competent navigators for victims of narcissistic abuse. Take a look at the narcissist’s cycle of abuse that uses three features, and the victim’s journey back to oneself after intimate terrorism.

Chapter 11:  Understanding the difference between Ambient Abusive and Coercive Control, and how these behaviours get acted out in Gaslighting behaviour. Also, why the victim’s defence mechanisms put them in danger of further re-victimisation.

Chapter 12:  Name the ten professions that attract narcissists & psychopaths, and what happens when these individuals hide in plain sight, especially in the “Caring Profession”. Learn the “red flags” for spotting a narcissistic therapist by getting inside their minds and by looking through the lens of the DSM (NPD Criteria). Look at what can a client do if they find themselves in this situation?

Chapter 13:  Look at what happens when a clinician is a pathological narcissist, and learn how they target their victim using a seduction system based on covert mind control. Sharing my own experience of being gaslighted by two clinicians that I worked for. You will be astounded how they used rehearsed grooming to “bait and hook” their victims into their web of deception.

Chapter 14:  Can looking through the lens of “Attachment Theory” explain this fatal attraction between the narcissist and their victim? Understand what is needed for the narcissist’s convoluted dance to happen. Look at the profiles of the narcissist and the victim, and perhaps you may learn what attachment style you are. Getting a glimpse of the terrible impact and dynamics of narcissistic abuse on the victim, and how they take control of the victim’s daily life.

Chapter 15:  How to get into the mind of the pathological narcissistic stalker, and learn about their wilful malicious stalking/hoovering behaviours. Learn how to recognise the “high-risk markers” of stalking (both male and female stalker), and learn some of the victim’s common reactions to being stalked. Take a look at the common personality characteristics of a stalker, and see how stalkers fall into different categories. See if we need anti-stalking initiatives (for stalker awareness and empowerment). Looking at the psychology behind stalking, and getting inside the mind of the pathological narcissistic stalker. Learn what to do if you are being stalked, especially in intimate partner violence. Looking forensically at the male and female intimate partner stalker. The many myths about stalking. Getting help if you think you are being stalked.

Chapter 16:  Get a glimpse into the full spectrum of narcissism, known as The Dark Triad of personality (Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Psychopathy). Are psychopaths mad or bad? Is psychopathy caused by Nature or Nurture? Why do victims stay in these dysfunctional relationships? What about Men Who Murder Their Families: Intimate Femicide, Familicide and Murder-suicide? Looking at notorious serial killers, and how they began by torturing or killing animals in their childhood. Are the numbers of narcissists and psychopaths increasing in society?

Chapter 17: Realise that there is a time to stop focusing on the narcissist, and a time to start focusing on yourself. Find out what is making you vulnerable to being targeted by narcissists so that you can work on changing those behaviours in yourself. By understanding and making meaning out of your abuse allows you to transform your present and future into a more peaceful and safe life.

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