2. Constant flattery: The narcissist will constantly flatter and compliment the other person, often to the point of exaggeration. Caught up in this alluring state of euphoria, the victim becomes “hooked” by the hypnotic love bombing, exuberance and grandiose exaggerations. This can make the other person feel good about themselves, but it is ultimately a manipulative tactic to hook the victim into the abusive relationship. As you can imagine, this is a powerful tactic for breaking the victim’s resistance.
3. Rapid commitment: The narcissist may try to move the relationship (especially if it is a romantic relationship) forward very quickly, often suggesting that they are “soul mates” or that they are meant to be together with you. Furthermore, the narcissist’s “love bombing” releases chemicals in the victim’s brain (i.e. Norepinephrine, Dopamine, Serotonin, Endogenous Opioids, Oxytocin, and Corticotropin-releasing factor (CRF), which will make it extremely difficult for a victim to manage emotions or make logical decisions.
4. Isolation: The narcissist may try to isolate the other person (their targeted victim) from their friends and family, often by claiming that those people are not supportive or don’t understand the relationship. This can make the victim more dependent on the narcissist and less able to get an outside perspective on the abusive relationship. However, this is how victims become “Hooked” into a relationship with a toxic person.
5. Mood swings: Once they have the victim hooked, the narcissist may begin to have mood swings, going from overly affectionate and loving to angry and critical very quickly. This can be confusing and upsetting for the other person (the victim). The narcissist will cause the victim to experience extremes of emotions through the “highs and lows” they inflict on them (i.e. love bombing one minute, criticising and shaming the next). They will make their victim feel that any problems they are having are their fault, and this promotes feelings of guilt and unworthiness within the victim.

Recognising the Red Flags of Love Bombing: How to Protect Yourself from Narcissistic Manipulation:

Q: Can you give examples of “Love Bombing Techniques”?

A: Here are some red flags to watch out for if you suspect you are being love bombed:

1. The person is excessively attentive and affectionate early on in the relationship. This can include constantly texting or calling, showering you with gifts and compliments, and making grand gestures of affection. Bit by bit, the narcissistic person becomes controlling and makes unreasonable demands. For example, they may want you to quit your job and spend more time with them, move across the country (away from everybody that you know), give up your dreams, etc.
2. Narcissists are overly eager to get close to you and to become an integral part of your life. They may try to move the relationship along at a rapid pace and may become upset if you don’t reciprocate their level of commitment. For example, they may try to move the conversation towards sex as soon as possible, even though it’s not something you’re comfortable talking about yet. Or, they may pressure you to take off work and travel with them, or to move in together immediately. They may even suggest marriage after only a few weeks.
3. The narcissistic person seems too good to be true. They may seem perfect and may be extremely charming, but their behaviour and actions may not match their words. For example, they might say things like, “I’m so happy we met! I was hoping we would meet someday. You’re just what I’ve been looking for.” But then, when you least expect it, they start acting cold and distant. Or, they may suddenly stop returning calls or texts, or stop responding to emails. They may also change their phone number without telling you why.
4. A narcissistic person is controlling or demanding. They may try to dictate your schedule, your friendships, and your activities, but may dress their controlling behaviour up as “a surprise”. For example, they may turn up at your door the night you have earmarked to meet a friend. They are excited because they have tickets for a show you wanted to see. They tell you the tickets are only valid for tonight’s show. So you cancel the meeting with your friend. It looks like a lovely gesture, but in fact, it is their way of controlling your friendship with someone else.
5. The narcissistic person is dismissive of your boundaries or needs. They may try to manipulate you into doing things that you are not comfortable with or that go against your values. Here are some examples of how a narcissist may dismiss your boundaries or needs:

• They may pressure you to do things that you are not comfortable with, such as engaging in activities that you find distasteful or compromising your values. For example, they may pressure, bully, or intimidate you into doing harmful things, such as being pressured to participate in activities that make you feel unsafe (i.e., such as being physically abused or having weapons used against you, etc.).
• They may ignore your requests for space or time to yourself, insisting that you spend all of your time with them. For example, they may try to control what you watch and read, or limit how much time you have to study or work. They may try to dictate where you go, who you see, or what you eat. They may try to force you to be around people they consider important while ignoring others who matter to you.
• They may dismiss your feelings or opinions, making it clear that they believe their perspective is the only one that matters. For example, they may try to convince you that you’re wrong about something, even when you know you’re right. They may tell you that you’re imagining things, or that you’re too sensitive. They may tell you to “get over it” or “stop whining.” They may say that you need to get a grip on reality. They may accuse you of being irrational, crazy, or paranoid.
• They may use gaslighting tactics to manipulate you into doubting your judgment or perceptions. For example, they might deny that they’ve done anything wrong, telling you that you’re just upset because you don’t like them anymore. They may insist that you’re seeing things that aren’t there, or that you’re imagining things. They may claim that you’re going crazy, or that you’re exaggerating. They may suggest that you’re confused, or that you’re trying to take advantage of them. They may use guilt, shame, or fear to manipulate you into doing things that you don’t want to do. For example, they may make you feel guilty if you refuse to spend time with them. They may threaten to cut off contact with you if you won’t agree to meet certain demands. They may blame you for problems in their life, saying that you caused them by not giving them enough attention. They may criticize you for spending money on other people instead of buying gifts for them. They may criticize you if you don’t give them what they want. These are ways in which they carry out “coercive control” in their relationships.

Love Bombing: The Prequel to Trauma Bonding:

Q: Does love bombing lead to Trauma Bonding?

A: Yes, love bombing can often lead to trauma bonding.

Love bombing is one tactic that can be used to create trauma bonding. Trauma bonding is a type of psychological attachment that can occur when someone experiences repeated cycles of abuse, followed by periods of kindness and affection( called Intermittent Reinforcement). This can create a sense of attachment and dependence on the abuser, even though the relationship is damaging and unhealthy.

By showering the other person with excessive affection and attention at the beginning of the relationship, the narcissist can create a sense of attachment and dependence in the victim. Once the victim is sufficiently isolated and hooked, the narcissist changes tactics. Up to this point, the victim has only met the narcissist’s lovely Dr Jekyll persona. But now their Mr Hyde persona makes an entrance, and the narcissistic individual becomes prone to sudden outbursts and violent rages, which can be terrifying. However, in between the frightening outbursts, the narcissistic individual would also occasionally show himself or herself as being a protective caregiver (intermittent “good and bad” behaviour). This combination of intermittent reinforcement (“good and bad behaviour) and love bombing creates an environment of trauma bonding. This can make it difficult for the victim to leave the relationship.