By: Christine Louis de Canonville Excerpt from book: When Shame Begets Shame Victimisation of a child’s boundaries: Boundary problems can be seen in all kinds of relationships with others; however, it is most likely that boundary conflict occurs in the early years of...

The Dyadic Pairing Of the Pathological Narcissist and their Co-narcissist Victim How can two children living in the same household with the same parents have such different childhood experiences?  Experiences that leads to one child becoming a pathological narcissist...

The Pathological Narcissist & Their Victim Connect In Very Different Ways Although the abuse that these two individuals (the narcissist and their victim) have experienced in childhood is quite similar, the personality of the pathological narcissistic (perpetrator)...

Because the narcissist (perpetrator) does not trust that they will get the love and attention they want, they grow to trust that they must take whatever they can, whenever they can.  This way of being becomes their favourite addiction, the addiction to their own...

A Victim’s Foreboding Joy and the “Dress Rehearsal” Tragedy Growing up for all my childhood with my “fledgling psychopath” brother was very difficult. I worshipped him most of the time, and I wanted to be with him. But mostly, I wanted to please him, because when I...

THE PATHOLOGICAL NARCISSIST’S MULTI-ADDICTIONS The Pathological Narcissist’s Multi-addictions The narcissist's pervasive feelings of shame are the root cause of their multi-addictions. So, whenever they experience a narcissistic wound, the narcissist turns...

What is Shame? It is the Intensely Painful Feeling of Being Fundamentally Flawed Shame is the most difficult emotion to identify within ourselves because we feel ashamed to do so. For me, shame is a natural but powerful emotion.Shame has a job to do, that...

Understanding Cognitive Dissonance, Trauma Bonding & Infantile Regression Cognitive Dissonance is a psychological term that describes the uncomfortable tension that victims experience when in a relationship with a narcissist; it is not something that...

Pathological narcissists are addicted to a drug called Narcissistic Supply.  Narcissistic supply is defined as a psychological concept whereby the narcissist draws admiration and support from their environment for boosting their ego. Narcissistic supply...

What Is The Dark Triad? The Dark Triad is a constellation of three overlapping personality constructs that are seen in three independent but closely related personality traits: Narcissism, Machiavellianism and Psychopathy. These three personality types are...

It is quite a shock for most people when they discover that they were in a relationship with a narcissist, but it is even more devastating and unfathomable when the offender is a family member. As part of the recovery process, it is entirely normal and...

As Puppet Masters, Narcissists Seek Out Three Different Sources of Supply: The narcissist always needs a constant source of “narcissistic supply” to support their fragile ego. Narcissistic supply is anything or anybody that allows the narcissist to draw respect,...

Excerpt from book: “WHEN SHAME BEGETS SHAME”: Childhood stress trauma affects an individual’s health across their lifetime. In high doses, stress trauma releases stress hormones (i.e. the three major stress hormones are adrenaline, cortisol, and...

The Narcissists “Shame” is a Hard Pill to Swallow Shame is a “self-conscious” emotion. At the heart of the pathological narcissist’s disorder is a disorder of the self that makes them especially vulnerable to internalised shame. With their over-inflated...

The Pathological Narcissist in Friendships In their friendships, the pathological narcissist will always attempt to dominate their current chosen victim friend. As solipsists, they lack empathy, therefore they do not understand what it means to be a...

The Narcissistic Boss in the Workplace If your boss is a pathological narcissist, then you are going to experience the boss from hell. They will be cold, inconsiderate, disrespectful, dominating, hard-driving and ruthless, and they will charm and groom you...

The Pathological Narcissist In The Workplace A certain amount of visible anxiety in the workplace is not only a good thing, it is necessary for signalling when there is a problem brewing, and for motivating everybody to get on board and problem solve (a...

The Pathological Narcissistic as a Spouse When in a romantic relationship, or a marriage, there will always be a struggle for power between the narcissistic partner (perpetrator) and their co-narcissistic partner (victim). Regardless of whether they are...

The Pathological Narcissist As Parent (The Below Is An Excerpt From "When Shame Begets Shame") When it comes to their children, because the narcissist lacks empathy, they make a terrible parent (both the male and the female parent). Rather than the child...

The Pathological Narcissist and Co-narcissist Convoluted Dance In every narcissistic relationship, one will find both the pathological narcissist (perpetrator) and their co-narcissist (victim) partners in a convoluted dance. It is the job of the...

Narcissism and Inadequate Mirroring In the early stages of an individual’s life, the soul is not capable of self-reflection or self-monitoring.  So, for the helpless child to grow and develop a healthy identity through the first personality, it needs both...

The Narcissist's and the Victim's Survival Strategies are Both Born Out of Narcissistic Vulnerability The Narcissist's and the Victim's Survival Strategies are Both Born Out of Narcissistic Vulnerability The child’s adaptations and automatic...

THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF THE PSYCHOPATH CHARACTER The Social Deviance Aspects of “Poor Behavioural Controls” THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF THE PSYCHOPATHIC CHARACTER The Social Deviance Aspect of “Poor Behavioural Controls” In this article I look at Hare’s...

THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF THE PSYCHOPATH CHARACTER  The Emotional and Interpersonal Aspect of “Lack Of Empathy” THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF THE PSYCHOPATHIC CHARACTER The Emotional and Interpersonal Aspect of "Lack Of Empathy" Psychopaths show a lack of feelings...

The Narcissist’s Shame As a “Premier Social Emotion” The Narcissist’s Shame As a “Premier Social Emotion” The narcissist’s excessive self-worth does a great job of chasing off their inferiority complex and replacing it with an outer veneer of superiority...

THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF THE PSYCHOPATH CHARACTER  The Emotional and Interpersonal Aspect of “Glibness and Superficial Charm” THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF THE PSYCHOPATHIC CHARACTER The Emotional and Interpersonal Aspect of “Glibness and Superficial Charm” When it comes to...

Christine's Chat Corner A place where real questions get answered. Christine Louis de Canonville is a psychotherapist who worked for many years with victims of narcissistic abuse. The questions discussed in her “Chat Corner” are real questions, they have come from the...

Christine's Chat Corner A place where real questions get answered. Christine Louis de Canonville is a psychotherapist who worked for many years with victims of narcissistic abuse. The questions discussed in her “Chat Corner” are real questions, they have come from the...

Christine's Chat Corner A place where real questions get answered. Christine Louis de Canonville is a psychotherapist who worked for many years with victims of narcissistic abuse. The questions discussed in her “Chat Corner” are real questions, they have come from the...

Christine's Chat Corner A place where real questions get answered. Christine Louis de Canonville is a psychotherapist who worked for many years with victims of narcissistic abuse. The questions discussed in her “Chat Corner” are real questions, they have come from the...

Christine's Chat Corner A place where real questions get answered. Christine Louis de Canonville is a psychotherapist who worked for many years with victims of narcissistic abuse. The questions discussed in her “Chat Corner” are real questions, they have come from the...

Christine's Chat Corner A place where real questions get answered. Christine Louis de Canonville is a psychotherapist who worked for many years with victims of narcissistic abuse. The questions discussed in her “Chat Corner” are real questions, they have come from the...

The narcissistic mother takes pleasure in creating a situation where the siblings have to compete for her attention by unfair means.  This can create jealousy between the siblings, making them become arch-enemies.  Due to the deep emotional scars that the mother...

It is assumed that all mothers want to do the best for their children, but that is not always the case, definitely not the case when it comes to narcissistic mothers (as seen in the life of Joan Crawford and her daughter Christina).  This raises the question, "What...

Gaslighting is the most subtly and cunning Machiavellian behaviour used against the victim, where “nothing is ever as it seems”. The Gaslighting Effect is truly a convoluted dance that involves an insidious set of psychological manipulative mind games.  It is the most...

There are four components to the narcissist's grandiosity, they are:     1.  Omnipotence (having unlimited power).   2.  Omnivore (perfectionism and completeness)   3.  Omniscience (having infinite knowledge).   4.  Omnipresence (being everywhere simultaneously)....