This Website Is A Resource For Victims Of Narcissistic Abuse & Gaslighting 

By Psychotherapist Christine Louis de Canonville

Narcissistic Behavior is on the rise.

My aim as a therapist and as a person who has been on the receiving end of Narcissism, is to help as many people I can, understand what narcissism is, what it looks like, why it occurs, the effect it has on the narcissist’s victim and what you can do to protect yourself from these people and go on to have a rewarding, healthy relationship with yourself and the people around you. You will find a long list of articles I’ve written on all aspects of Narcissistic Behavior a little further down the page.

My name is Christine Louis de Canonville. I’m an accredited psychotherapist who’s worked with victims of narcissistic abuse for many years, both in my private practice and previously in a post traumatic unit within a Psychiatric Hospital.

From the office to the home, narcissists are everywhere; they can be parents, partners, friends, bosses, siblings. No one is safe. This form of abuse goes way beyond physical and psychological injury. It strikes at the very soul of the victim, leaving them wondering whether they are literally going mad.

I believe it is imperative for everyone to understand the relationship dynamics that exists between the narcissist and their victims, i.e. their need for entitlement, control, power, grandiosity and specialness.  Also, to understand how a narcissist uses seduction and manipulation to “hook” their victims into a dangerous liaison.

The information on this website is about different aspects of narcissistic behavior and narcissistic abuse for both victims and psychotherapists alike, and indeed, anybody who wants to know more about the subject.

Furthermore, many people who have experienced this form of abuse have left their comments and experiences on the blog to share with others. They, in effect, are the real experts whom we can all learn from.

Christine’s Articles

Narcissistic Abuse and Childhood Stress Trauma

Narcissistic Abuse and Childhood Stress Trauma Excerpt from book: “WHEN SHAME BEGETS SHAME”: Childhood stress trauma affects an individual’s health across their lifetime. In high doses, stress trauma releases stress hormones (i.e. the three major stress hormones are...

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The Narcissist’s Shame Is A Hard Pill To Swallow

The Narcissists “Shame” is a Hard Pill to Swallow Shame is a “self-conscious” emotion. At the heart of the pathological narcissist’s disorder is a disorder of the self that makes them especially vulnerable to internalised shame. With their over-inflated sense of self,...

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The Pathological Narcissist in Friendships

The Pathological Narcissist in Friendships In their friendships, the pathological narcissist will always attempt to dominate their current chosen victim friend. As solipsists, they lack empathy, therefore they do not understand what it means to be a friend; not in the...

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The Narcissistic Boss in the Workplace

The Narcissistic Boss in the Workplace   If your boss is a pathological narcissist, then you are going to experience the boss from hell. They will be cold, inconsiderate, disrespectful, dominating, hard-driving and ruthless, and they will charm and groom you from the...

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The Pathological Narcissist In The Workplace

The Pathological Narcissist In The Workplace A certain amount of visible anxiety in the workplace is not only a good thing, it is necessary for signalling when there is a problem brewing, and for motivating everybody to get on board and problem solve (a coherent...

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The Pathological Narcissist as a Spouse

The Pathological Narcissistic as a Spouse When in a romantic relationship, or a marriage, there will always be a struggle for power between the narcissistic partner (perpetrator) and their co-narcissistic partner (victim). Regardless of whether they are male or...

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The Pathological Narcissist As Parent

The Pathological Narcissist As Parent (The Below Is An Excerpt From “When Shame Begets Shame”) When it comes to their children, because the narcissist lacks empathy, they make a terrible parent (both the male and the female parent). Rather than the child...

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Narcissism and Inadequate Mirroring

Narcissism and Inadequate Mirroring In the early stages of an individual’s life, the soul is not capable of self-reflection or self-monitoring.  So, for the helpless child to grow and develop a healthy identity through the first personality, it needs both reflection...

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Narcissist’s and Victim’s Survival Strategies

The Narcissist’s and the Victim’s Survival Strategies are Both Born Out of Narcissistic Vulnerability The Narcissist’s and the Victim’s Survival Strategies are Both Born Out of Narcissistic Vulnerability The child’s adaptations and automatic...

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Poor Behavioral Controls

THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF THE PSYCHOPATH CHARACTER The Social Deviance Aspects of “Poor Behavioural Controls” THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF THE PSYCHOPATHIC CHARACTER The Social Deviance Aspect of “Poor Behavioural Controls” In this article I look at Hare’s Psychopathy...

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Lack Of Empathy

THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF THE PSYCHOPATH CHARACTER  The Emotional and Interpersonal Aspect of “Lack Of Empathy” THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF THE PSYCHOPATHIC CHARACTER The Emotional and Interpersonal Aspect of “Lack Of Empathy” Psychopaths show a lack of feelings...

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The Narcissist’s Shame

The Narcissist’s Shame As a “Premier Social Emotion” The Narcissist’s Shame As a “Premier Social Emotion” The narcissist’s excessive self-worth does a great job of chasing off their inferiority complex and replacing it with an outer veneer of superiority through their...

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Building Blocks Of The Psychopathic Character

THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF THE PSYCHOPATH CHARACTER  The Emotional and Interpersonal Aspect of “Glibness and Superficial Charm” THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF THE PSYCHOPATHIC CHARACTER The Emotional and Interpersonal Aspect of “Glibness and Superficial Charm” When it comes to...

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One Thing That Makes a Narcissist Happy

Christine’s Chat Corner A place where real questions get answered. Christine Louis de Canonville is a psychotherapist who worked for many years with victims of narcissistic abuse. The questions discussed in her “Chat Corner” are real questions, they have come...

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Why Does My Partner Blow Hot & Cold?

Christine’s Chat Corner A place where real questions get answered. Christine Louis de Canonville is a psychotherapist who worked for many years with victims of narcissistic abuse. The questions discussed in her “Chat Corner” are real questions, they have come...

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Escaping a Narcissist

Christine’s Chat Corner A place where real questions get answered. Christine Louis de Canonville is a psychotherapist who worked for many years with victims of narcissistic abuse. The questions discussed in her “Chat Corner” are real questions, they have come...

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Why Did My Narcissist Choose Me?

Christine’s Chat Corner A place where real questions get answered. Christine Louis de Canonville is a psychotherapist who worked for many years with victims of narcissistic abuse. The questions discussed in her “Chat Corner” are real questions, they have come...

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Do Narcissists Manipulate Deliberately?

Christine’s Chat Corner A place where real questions get answered. Christine Louis de Canonville is a psychotherapist who worked for many years with victims of narcissistic abuse. The questions discussed in her “Chat Corner” are real questions, they have come...

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Why does your narcissistic partner always blame you?

Christine’s Chat Corner A place where real questions get answered. Christine Louis de Canonville is a psychotherapist who worked for many years with victims of narcissistic abuse. The questions discussed in her “Chat Corner” are real questions, they have come...

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The Narcissistic Mother & The Drama Triangle

The narcissistic mother takes pleasure in creating a situation where the siblings have to compete for her attention by unfair means.  This can create jealousy between the siblings, making them become arch-enemies.  Due to the deep emotional scars that the mother...

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What Makes A Self-Absorbed Narcissistic Mother?

It is assumed that all mothers want to do the best for their children, but that is not always the case, definitely not the case when it comes to narcissistic mothers (as seen in the life of Joan Crawford and her daughter Christina).  This raises the question,...

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Recognize Narcissistic Traits Before It Is Too Late

  Whether a man or a woman, take care not to give your heart too quickly to a narcissist! If you are to reduce your chances of being re-victimised by yet another narcissist, then you really do need to learn how to recognize narcissistic traits when you see them. ...

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The Typical Narcissistic Woman As A Friend:

Narcissist:  Friend or foe? To the typical narcissistic woman, you are no more than an object of “secondary narcissistic supply” that provides her with whatever she wants or needs within the relationship.  Typically, she mistakenly interprets her own narcissistic...

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The Four Components Of Narcissistic Grandiosity

There are four components to the narcissist’s grandiosity, they are:     1.  Omnipotence (having unlimited power).   2.  Omnivore (perfectionism and completeness)   3.  Omniscience (having infinite knowledge).   4.  Omnipresence (being everywhere...

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CAN WOMEN BE NARCISSISTIC?

Can Narcissism Affect Women? Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) affects both males and females alike, it is a fallacy to think that narcissistic traits belong only to the male population of society.  Such an error in thinking is dangerous in that it denies the...

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There Are Four Components to Narcissistic Grandiosity

The Four Components to Narcissistic Grandiosity Are:   1.  Omnipotence (having unlimited power):  The narcissists grandiose fantasies serve to preserve their belief in their “God-like” omnipotence. Their magical thinking is a symptom of their obsessional neurosis...

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The Narcissists Addiction to Adrenaline

The Narcissists Addiction to Adrenaline: Adrenaline is a hormone produced by the adrenal gland in the body of many animals, including man. When it is produced in the body it stimulates the heart-rate, dilates blood vessels and air passages, and has a number of more...

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NARCISSISTIC VICTIM SYNDROME: What the heck is that?

What causes Narcissistic Victim Syndrome? When a man or woman suffers from a condition named Narcissistic Personality Disorder, they display patterns of deviant or abnormal behaviour that is so bad, that it creates carnage on those people who are unfortunate enough to...

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The Narcissists Addiction to Fame:

The Narcissists Addiction to Fame: One of the reasons that the narcissist has an insatiable need for fame is because it leads him to the inexhaustible repository of praise and admiration which he craves in order to fill the “Gap” of his shameful childhood.  The...

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The Narcissists Addiction to Grandiosity:

The Narcissists Addiction to Grandiosity:  Grandiosity is usually the most outstanding and discriminating feature of individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  Grandiosity can be expressed in an unrealistic overvaluation of talents and abilities;...

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Narcissism and the Addiction to “Self”

The Narcissists Multi-addictions: The Addiction to “Self” So what is the narcissist most addicted to?  In a word, the narcissist is most addicted to their own grand view of “self”, and they will not tolerate anything or anybody that is likely to obstruct them in their...

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Narcissistic Victim Syndrome: What the heck is that?

When a man or woman suffers from a condition named Narcissistic Personality Disorder, they display patterns of deviant or abnormal behaviour that is so bad, that it creates carnage on those people who are unfortunate enough to have a close relationship with  them. The...

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Narcissistic Rage: What Causes Narcissists To Rage?

Have you Experienced Narcissistic Rage? If you have been the victim of narcissistic abuse, then I am sure you are well familiar with the narcissists “rages”.  Narcissistic rage is a reaction to narcissistic injury, a perceived threat to a narcissist’s...

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What Exactly is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Explaining the Many Facets of Narcissism! Narcissistic Personality Disorder, what exactly is it? Trying to explain exactly what narcissistic personality is takes some doing, the reason being that there  are so many facets of behaviour involved.  However, Narcissism,...

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Narcissistic Victim Syndrome a new diagnosis?

How to recognize Narcissistic Victim Syndrome: Every therapist has had their share of clients suffering with emotional problems such as distress, anxiety, depression, weight problems, panic attacks, self-harming behaviors, and suicide.  And as we have seen, many of...

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Was Raoul Moat a narcissist?

Was Raoul Moat a narcissist? Sadly, the extreme violence of Raoul Moat ended tragically with his death after he had shot and wounded his ex-girlfriend, killed her new boyfriend, and then shot a policeman.  Looking at his behavior, he clearly demonstrated narcissistic...

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NEW BOOK    When Shame Begets Shame - How Narcissists Hurt & Shame their  Victims