Your Body Already Knows They’re a Narcissist

By Christine Louis de CanonvilleYour body has been trying to tell you something.

After my last post about distinguishing difficult behaviour from narcissism, someone wrote to me saying “I think you’re right, but I keep doubting myself. How do I know for certain?”

Great question. In my time working with survivors, I’ve noticed something consistent. Your body already knows. It’s your mind that’s been trained to doubt.

You’ll recognise this in three ways.

Your Physical Warning System Is Working Perfectly

The knot in your stomach when you hear their key in the door. The tension in your shoulders when they enter the room. The racing heart before you speak.

These aren’t signs of an anxiety disorder. They’re your nervous system’s intelligent response to a real threat it has learned to recognise.

The Exhaustion Is Real (And It Has a Name)

Hypervigilance means you’re constantly monitoring their mood, rehearsing what you’ll say, calculating how they might react. This requires enormous mental and physical energy.

You’re not weak. You’re running a sophisticated threat-assessment system 24/7. That’s exhausting for anyone.

The Mind-Body Split Is Gaslighting’s Signature

When someone repeatedly tells you “that never happened,” “you’re too sensitive,” or “you’re imagining things,” something insidious occurs. Your mind learns to override what your body clearly experiences.

This creates an internal war between what you feel (danger) and what you’ve been trained to think (I’m overreacting). Your nervous system cannot be gaslit. It responds to patterns, not your partner’s excuses. Whilst your mind can be convinced you’re ‘overreacting,’ your body keeps a truthful ledger of every threat.

A client once told me she felt ‘dramatic’ for feeling sick before dinner with her partner. I asked her “What if your body is simply remembering the 40 previous dinners where he criticised your cooking, your weight, your day?”

She cried. Her body wasn’t dramatic. It was accurate.

What You Can Do Right Now

Notice when your body reacts. No judgment. No talking yourself out of it. Just observe.

“My stomach just tightened. My breathing just changed. I suddenly feel on edge.”

Your body is giving you data. It’s been your most reliable protector all along.

The question isn’t “Am I imagining this?” The question is “Why does my body consistently register threat in this person’s presence?”

Trust your body. It hasn’t lied to you yet. However, sometimes that trust may take time, and that’s completely okay.

About Christine Louis de Canonville

Christine Louis de Canonville is a retired psychotherapist who specialised in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery for over 25 years in her Dublin practice. She trained in the Trauma Unit of St. Brendan’s Psychiatric Hospital under Professor Ivor Browne and worked in mental health and trauma recovery for 35 years.

Christine holds qualifications in psychotherapy (MIACP, MSIACP), clinical supervision, clinical hypnosis (CMH), and NLP (MPNLP), alongside degrees in Theology and Psychology. She is the author of 4 books and has trained mental health professionals internationally on narcissistic abuse recovery.

Christine retired from clinical practice in 2024 but continues to provide educational content for survivors of narcissistic abuse.